People see me as the class clown but the truth is I am fucking depressed and I want to kill myself

Due to concerns over user safety and sharing of personal information, users cannot arrange to meet up on /r/teenagers.A history of in depth answers is a plus.Your claim must be verifiable.To get moderator approval, message the moderators with a paragraph or two explaining who you are, why you would like to host an AMA, and proof of your claims.The full documentation of our rules can be found on this page.The moderators reserve the right to act on a case by case basis. If you are not sure whether something breaks these rules, please message the moderators.We use a point system that tracks warnings and bans. This allows for users to learn from their mistakes and not get banned indefinitely for a minor infraction. Our current ban procedure can be found on this page. I love being funny. But I woke up one day and depression just wasnt on my mind canada goose outlet the way it had been before. It was like it was gone.However my anxiety was back with a vengeance. Multiple panic attacks canada goose outlet store new york a day, for weeks until I finally went to my doc and started Zoloft. Last week, I had my first buy canada goose uk therapy session, and I have another tomorrow morning.Dont take this shit lightly, guys and gals. Im 22 and quite healthy physically, but those weeks, I genuinely thought I was dying. My body felt like it was canada goose outlet seattle failing and shutting down. When I would have a panic attack before bed, I honestly didnt know if I was going to wake up in the morning.Dont play games. If you even have a remote idea that you may need help, seek help. The original group of heroes, the Minutemen were just eccentric people living in a very innocent world canada goose outlet vancouver trying to protect people in earnest and even they had their issues. The heroes explored in Watchmen are supposed to show that effective super heroes beneath the surface are the people least qualified to be called such a thing. Rorschach is a psychotic murderer. The Comedian is a merc. Niteowl is out of his dept. Manhattan is so powerful he loses context for right and wrong. I sure, more than anything, That they would rather have the official canada goose outlet stress of a suicidal child who is receiving help, than a dead one, who they couldn help. I know how hard it is. I gotten help. I had a plan. I was set on doing it. I had the place, method, time, date, and I knew what song I would play to calm me down so I didn chicken out. That was 7 weeks ago. Now, after intense therapy, some medication, and some skill learning, I feel stable. The thoughts aren gone. I don think they will be for a long while. It doesn work like that. But I can control them. I can take the steps to make sure that I safe, and help my family to know that too. I urge you to seek any level of help you can. Don do it for them, do it for you. I was away at college, but luckily close enough that I could commute the hour and a half drive if need be. I was feeling lost in both school and in life; I constantly had thoughts about wanting to kill myself. It eventually got a point where I was just repeating “I want to kill myself” over and over in my head and breaking down crying. I called my mom who immediately came to pick me up and just drove around with me in the car while I explained how pointless everything felt. I moved home, but I kept attending school mostly to not fail my classes. I went to a therapist for a bit which overall didn really help me, but medication did. The first one I tried made me tired all the time, but the second medication helped immensely. It was literally like a switch had been flipped in my brain and things started making sense again.I started focusing more on things that I enjoyed and changed majors. I found that it was okay if all that was keeping me going was playing a certain game that night or talking to friends. Small steps, small steps to keep you going eventually become part of something bigger that helps you find enjoyment and reason to keep going. Right now my life is basically about just keeping myself comfortable. I got a decent job after graduating college and my life canada goose outlet store quebec is in a pretty good place. I no longer on medication, but it definitely helped me through the tougher times.I think the biggest thing that helped was just opening up and talking about it to people. Nobody had any idea I was feeling that way and I seemed happy to those canada goose outlet winnipeg who knew me. My mom has actually been on anti depressants for years and I never knew. She who had been through it canada goose outlet niagara falls herself had no idea how unhappy I was and just kept hoping that none of her kids would go through it too. She convinced me to start the medication because she opened up to me about her depression. As cliche as opening up and talking about it is, it absolutely helps.Here I am 6 years later and the thoughts aren completely gone, but you learn how to manage them. They also aren near as loud as they used to be so canada goose outlet in uk it does get easier as time goes on. The first step is reaching out to someone who cares about you and actually conveying how serious your depression is to you. I also realized that I never actually wanted to kill myself. I wanted to find a reason to not do it. Killing myself seemed like inevitable answer to all my problems.

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